Am listening to the sound of water: the dishwasher is running. The kitchen timer ticks: there’s a Spinach and Mushroom Bake in the oven. Have just assembled it, and have to take it out with me this evening.
Have a rare dinner invitation and have told Mum about it so have to go now or will be told off.
2. Burning sensation on irradiated area of chest. Have taken off gel pad as it was tight and think skin needs to breathe.
3. Sore throat.
Still need to:
1. Wash hair.
2. Clean lenses.
3. Find outfit: something with bare arms as will be hot. There are forty seven people attending this dinner party!
4. Add address of party to my Uber thing.
5. Do something – anything – with nails. They look awful: bare and chipped and pale.
The anxiety bird spreads her wings. Flying into my mouth, she zooms down my throat and into my stomach, where she hovers, flapping. Just need to start this list of tasks-that-must-be-completed-before-leaving-flat. That will quieten her.
It will be alright once I get there, of course. Once I enter the room and find the drinks and hug my friends and settle down somewhere. It’s just the thought of leaving the warm flat when am so exhausted, and being propelled into the darkness, that’s so awful. It’s compounded by how physically weak I feel at the moment. My mental state is fine. Sort of…
Right, had better get going. Will start by running a bath.
Attached photo is two Made by Maggie cashmere bunnies. They’ve been cheering me up today. The navy one is the first ever cashmere rabbit I think, made for me!
Happy Friday everyone!
*1989. By Janice Galloway. Wonderful novel. Deals with mental breakdown and recovery – or the start of recovery anyway. Love this book.