Monkey Puzzle*


Am sitting on the bus on the way home from The Office.  The panther is stretched out on the floor at my feet.  The rain has stopped for the moment and the sun shines. 

This evening will be able to start my new drug.  Have been looking forward to this day for months, but now am nervous.  Maybe it will have terrible side effects that kick in straight away, I think.

“It’s bound to make you even fatter,” the panther says, staring at me.

“It’s not,” I say.  “Weight loss is listed as a common side effect and…”

“I don’t understand how you can go around looking like that,” the panther says, staring at my tummy.  Turning away from him to stare out of the window, I bite back tears.  All I can hope is that the new drug will lift my mood a bit and then I’ll be able to return to my flat and try to get my life back a bit.  At the moment my functioning is reduced to almost nothing and am crying for hours every day about Seb.  Still.

On the plus side:

1.  Have achieved a day of Important Work.

2.  Maybe the fluffy monster will let me cuddle him.

3.  A man shouted “I like your summer dress” as I was walking towards the bus stop thinking how awful and fat I look.

4.  It is nearly supper time.

5.  Can start my new drug tonight and maybe it will help.

The attached photo and the above photo show some new artwork in the park near The Office.

Happy Monday everyone!
*1985.  By Paula Gosling.  Crime novel.
 

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