Really really really don’t feel like walking to the cows when wake up from my afternoon sleep. However, force self to trudge there. The wren of anxiety flies into my mouth and down my throat and flutters around in my stomach. The one thing that helps is to move and to keep moving: putting one foot in front of the other and repeating and repeating and repeating. The panther saunters down the road next to me, padding on huge paws.
It’s 21 degrees when I set off which is just perfect. Am wearing my white denim shorts, my pale pink secret support sleepwear top with the cream lace edging and, I notice, a bit of dried porridge in the middle of the tummy. Oh well. The outfit is finished off with gold sequinned fit flops. Maybe will enter this outfit for The Mental Normality Awards, I think.
Once I’m moving, I feel better. Spot a pair of long-tailed tits out for a late afternoon jaunt. As I turn the corner up to the field, there’s a golden shape: a calf who’s come over to say hello. And am richly rewarded for making the trip: the cows are all near the fence. Show you:
Being out in the wide open space of the fields calms my anxiety. It’s a gorgeous evening and swifts circle overhead, screeching. It’s always worth it – venturing outside and moving – I remind myself as I turn and head for home.
Other achievements of the day include:
1. Pushing self hard at Spin – managing average 78% effort according to my device. It’s a Hill Climb class which is my best one as can whack the resistance up really high. See attached photo for my outfit and my instructor’s outfit.
2. Managing lunch with a chum as well as walking there and back – so that’s two walks and a Spin class today. Well done me.
3. Combing some grass seeds out of the fluffy monster’s chest fur. They had accumulated on his chest, forming a green beard.
4. Washing hair and rest of self.
5. Shelling the peas.
Now am sitting in the garden with Mum writing this and listening to a crow cawing.
Happy Saturday everyone!
*2013. By Helene Tursten. Book 5 in the Inspector Huss series. Swedish crime novel.