Clean And Jerk

I lift to fill the cavern of my heart

Where you have been and yet won’t stay.

I lift to grasp the fleet-footed day

Who won’t be held, who sprints away.

I lift to strengthen my weakened bones,

Which cancer drugs aim to leach away.

I lift to grasp the charging bull by his horns.

I lift: urging him to turn another way.

I lift to fill my empty soul, where dogs drop in then trot away.

Leaving nothing but wisps of fur

To show they’ve even been here at all.

I lift to expand the weak winter sun,

To pull him from the clouds wherein he stays.

I lift because there’s nothing else that helps,

When days are dark and nights too long.

I lift because I cannot write a song.

Because the words they always flit away –

Just out of reach of all my new intent

To frame my world so it makes sense.

I lift, bolstering my shaking confidence,

To build on the small progress I have made

With bars and bells and weighted balls:

I need to up my targets of them all.

And in the spaces between what I need and what I own

I lift because we are all alone.

Alone on this darkening plain of fear and endless blame.

The forests shrink, the seas recede, 

The fires burn, a desperate need for comfort and freedom from fear,

Which can’t be calmed except by lifting weights.

And is it luck or is it fate or is it something else instead.

Withought the chink of light we’ll all be dead.

And as the reaper rides towards me at a canter,

I know that lifting heavy weights must be the answer.

Behind the clouds the winter sun breaks through:

My body aches and yet my spirit’s resolute.

To rise and meet the challenges of pain –

I start another set of tricep lifts, again.

And on and on through winter fog and sleet,

After lifting I know that I will sleep

And dream of sunlit uplands, leaping lambs

Of lynx in forests, beavers building dams.

Wolves will return and with them a kind of hope,

That maybe the whole world just might not implode.

A slim hope, and yet worth writing hear.

I lift to dull the constant ache of fear

And age, and decline and mental anguish.

For all of this, I speak the simple language

Of lift then rest then lift then rest again

Till what comes is the long-foretold end

Of love and life and hope and all those things.

Lifting centres me within the silent scream.


Today’s weightlifting outfit attached.

Happy Sunday everyone!

Advertisements

4 comments

  1. L. Rorschach · January 8

    Beautiful and heart-wrenching, sweets. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. simone · January 8

    Absolutely brilliant. You are a true survivor and a lesson to all of us moaning about minor irritations xxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s