Body Ache*

Have a lovely walk with Dolly. Miss her last week and she is pleased to see me today.  We are lucky: there’s bright sunshine throughout our walk.  

Also walk there and back so that’s about four and a half hours of walking.  Legs ache.  Here are some photos:

She is improving her selfie game I think.  It’s not her fault that she has such a huge fluffy head.  Love her.  We have some great cuddles and she rests her head on my leg when we sit for a short break on our walk.

Have just watched two episodes of Born To Kill? the serial killer series: about John Wayne Gacy and John Linley Frazier.  Love that series.  Also achieve some knitting and make scrambled eggs with spinach and feta for lunch.

Have been upset about eyebrows thinning which I think is to do with the Zolodex and letrazole and consequent lack of oestrogen.  Always used to have luxuriant eyebrows and now they are barely there.

So pop in to Space NK and purchase an eyebrow pencil to fill in the gaps, and this product which they recommend to people undergoing chemo to help eyebrows grow back:

Let’s hope that it works.

Have bad headache and am very tired.  Am listening to Britney’s Britney Jean album in bed and drinking tea.

Busy day tomorrow: trainer at 8.30am, then psychologist, rush back to parentals then we will attend the hospital.  So must achieve early night tonight.

Happy Tuesday everyone!
*2013.  Song by Britney Spears.  Appears on the brilliant 2013 album Britney Jean.

Change Of Heart*

So, I’ve told my boss that I’m leaving to work at the Bookshop.  She says they’re going to miss me and that I must stay in touch.  Am just scribbling this in a coffee shop: it’s been raining all day.

Feel sad because:

  1. Have been working there for so long, they’re like family to me.
  2. Will probably have to work much harder in new job.
  3. Goodbyes are sad.
  4. Maybe won’t be good at new job.
  5. Certainly won’t be able to get away without doing much work.
  6. Will miss this area of London which probably won’t visit much once am not working here.
  7. Will miss the lovely shops.
  8. Will miss the actors.
  9. Don’t really like change.
  10. Am scared that won’t be good at new job.

Tummy is bad today.  Am blaming the spinach that consumed at lunch.

The attached photo is some artichokes in the market.

Had better return to The Office and do some Important Work.

Happy Monday everyone!
*2008.  By Jodi Picoult.  Crime fiction novel.

Murder In Waiting*

I thought being Grown Up

Would involve rushing around

A million things to do.

And yet – it’s mainly Waiting:

Waiting for people,

Waiting for trains,

Waiting for New Job to start,

Waiting for Bedtime,

Waiting for meals.
So, here I am –

Waiting –

For a visitor:

Lying on my bed,

Hair washed:

Deciding what to wear,

Listening to The Orb

Wrapped up in my 

New fluffy dressing gown.

Listening to the wind

Rustling through the leaves.
Went to the gym at eight o’clock:

Have been waiting for hours:

Have bashed out a book review,

Read The Sunday Times,

Even tidied up a bit…
Waiting for Spring:

My daffodils are in bud.
Waiting for lunch:

Hungry after the gym –

Have already consumed

A protein bar

And a pear.

Waiting for something good to happen

Waiting for the day to unfold

However it chooses.


Maybe will do some knitting

Whilst I wait.

The photos are today’s gym outfit.

Happy Sunday everyone!
*1973.  By Mignon G Eberhart.  Crime fiction novel.


Push self hard at Spin.  Here is graph:

Then achieve a bath and then pose for some photos with my fluffy monster:

He really is the best fluffy monster in the world.

Then Mum takes me back to the flat where am watching Yes, Minister and knitting with plenty of Heating on.  Earlier, watch Good, which is good but depressing.

It is nearly suppertime.

Tomorrow will wake up and go to gym and lift some weights.

It is clean and tidy at my flat.  Cleaner has been.

The attached photo is today’s Spin outfit.

Am looking forward to an early night.

Happy Saturday everyone!
*2008.  Film starring Viggo Mortensen, Jason Isaacs, Jodie Whittaker and Steven Mackintosh.  Written by C.P. Taylor and John Wrathall.  Directed by Vicente Amorim.  A professor becomes embroiled with the Nazis…

Hug My Soul*

Distracted at Spin by runny nose and phone going.  Thought it was something important and ran out to answer it, but it wasn’t.

Then lovely walk in the sunshine with this person:

He’s not as good at posing with me as Mr Fluffypants is, but we’re working on it.  Ask his owner if she really needs him because would like to keep him, but sadly she does.  Life is cruel.  Isn’t he a beautiful boy?

Then pop into Bookshop to arrange when am going in there for training – in a couple of weeks.

Have an afternoon sleep and do some knitting.  Then watch a David Attenborough programme following a family of cheetahs with Mum.  The fluffy monster is sleeping behind the sofa.

Have achieved Bath and now am writing this in bed whilst listening to Saint Etienne.

The attached photo is today’s Spin outfit.

Happy Friday everyone!
*1994.  Single by Saint Etienne.  Written by Sarah Cracknell, Guy Batson and Johnny Male.  It’s the third single from the band’s 1994 Tiger Bay album.

Dead Man’s Folly*

Not able to push self very hard again at Spin today.  Here is graph:

Think it’s because have a bit of a cold and am weak from the biophosphonates.  But on the plus side, am There, and not in bed or something.

Have blood taken out of foot and then groin at hospital.  Ouch.  Do some crying.

The fluffy monster is inside due to Storm Doris raging out there.  Here he is:

Isn’t he the most beautiful fluffy monster in the world.

Have washed self and hair and now need to get dressed again as is Book Group at the Bookshop.  CBA to go but must or they won’t agree to read the book that want to read for the next one.

It is dark and stormy out there.

Happy Thursday everyone!
*1956.  By Agatha Christie.  Hercule Poirot detective novel which features a dark and stormy night…

The Bookshop At 10 Curzon Street* 

  1. Psychologist is pleased with me about New Job.
  2. This is what need to wear:
  3. Have ordered the book of letters between Nancy Mitford and Heywood Hill – The Bookshop At 10 Curzon Street – for Research.
  4. Going to watch part 3 of The Secret Life Of Dogs with Mum.  We missed part 2, but part 1 was brilliant and contained a Police Chihuahua and a Newfoundland who saved someone from drowning.  Apparently Newfies have their own sort of breaststroke that they’ve made up, they don’t paddle like other dogs.
  5. Have been asleep all afternoon.
  6. Someone very famous is asleep:

Attached is gym outfit.

Happy Wednesday everyone!
*2005.  By John Saumarez Smith.  Letters between Nancy Mitford and Heywood Hill.

The Blessing*

A miracle has happened: have just found out that have got the job at the Bookshop!  Am so excited!

Start in April so plenty of time to work out my notice at The Office.  Really can’t believe that applied for a job and got it, just like a normal person.  Now all I have to do is be-good-at-it-and-not-get-sacked.

Also mustn’t buy loads of Dior Couture to wear there in manner of Nancy Mitford when she worked at Heywood Hill.

Can’t quite believe it: am going to have a Fresh Start.  Will get Barista training so can serve coffee.  Will be able to walk there and back from parentals so won’t be exhausted by the commute.  Hope will be good at the work and will enjoy it.

The attached photo is today’s Spin outfit.

Happy Tuesday everyone!
*1951.  Comic satirical novel by Nancy Mitford.

They Do It With Mirrors*

It’s Love Your Pet Day today so here he is:

He has been out and I have been sleeping but we will have more cuddles later.  Love my fluffy monster today and every day of course.  Feel much better now am with him and the parentals.

Watch episode 1 of SS: GB when I wake up this morning.  It’s really good: taut, tense and atmospheric.  Sam Riley is excellent in – presumably – the leading role: a young policeman who falls into the orbit of the Resistance to our SS overlords.  For once, the music isn’t just not-irritating but adds something.  Will just see who wrote it.  Right: IMDB tells me that the composer is Dan Jones.  He’s done a good job.  The whole thing has a lovely period look too.  Excited for the rest of it.

Push self hard at gym earlier.  Here are a couple more photos:

Have been sleeping all afternoon.  Tired.  

Try taking all my biophosphonates at about 10am to see if it makes a difference to tummy.  Have upset tummy immediately after (at gym) but it’s been OK since then.

On the plus side: have booked Pet First Aid Course so soon will be able to do CPR on a budgie (probably) and have new dog client tomorrow after Spin.

Mum wants me to have a bath before Spin so had better post this.

Happy Monday everyone!
*1952.  By Agatha Christie.  Miss Marple detective novel.  Not one of Dame Agatha’s best works…

Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye*

Tomorrow would be our second anniversary –

If we’d made it.

My breath catches in the

Sharp shards of glass

Lining my windpipe –

Because of course we didn’t.

And whilst meditating

I Start crying,

And decide to write this now

To get it over with

So it doesn’t poison tomorrow.

I remember us: happy –

So happy that summer 

On the windswept beach

In Worthing –

Sitting on the wet sand:

Seagulls in a circle around us.

I remember your room –

So near the beach –

I remember Everything:

Which is its own problem,

That I can’t just – forget.

I miss you so much, still,

Every day. 

Some of the shock has gone

But some days I still wake 

In a blur of:

“I can’t believe we’re not together anymore.”

We were a team:

We were strong –

I still don’t really understand

Why you gave up what we had

Why you couldn’t work with me

On us.

And now

I lie here



To type through my tears

To get it down

To make a poem, however imperfect,

Out of us.

I’ll never stop loving you, never.

Missing you so much my darling,

Today and every day.

I still can’t accept you’ve gone away.

Forever is such a long time

To live without you.
*1967.  Song by Leonard Cohen.  From the album Songs Of Leonard Cohen.