So I’ve been sober since 30th August which is NINE WHOLE MONTHS. Well done me.
Things I Don’t Miss About Drinking:
- Vomiting up half a bottle of gin and then drinking again the next day.
- Puking up half a bottle of wine at lunchtime and then drinking again in the evening.
- Anxiety about where my next drink was coming from starting at eleven o’clock in the morning.
- Saying stupid things when drunk.
- And regretting them the next day.
- Nights of disturbed sleep.
- Mum’s look of disappointment as I drank all the wine in a restaurant.
- Or at a dinner where no-one else was drinking.
- Arguments with my parents about my drinking.
- Arguing with Seb when we’d both been drinking.
- The weight gain.
And some things I do miss:
- A gin and slimline tonic on a spring or summer evening.
- Discovering new gin cocktails.
- The way that alcohol makes other people seem less boring and irritating: its social lubricating effect.
- Sharing a bottle of Rioja or Chianti with Mum over dinner.
- A nice cold glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
- The ritual of cocktail hour.
- Falling asleep in a red-wine-stupor.
On balance I feel better most of the time but I just don’t have any desire to go out in the evenings anymore. Maybe that is aging but I think it’s partly because I don’t want to be in a place where other people are drinking.
The summer, my first non-drinking-summer, will be a challenge. Hope it will somehow be OK.
On the plus side:
- This arrived from my uncle in Abroad:
- So am listening to it now.
- And drinking lemon squash with fizzy water.
- We’ve given the fluffy monster his allergy pill and he was a good boy: I held him and opened his mouth, Mum put it in the back of his throat and he swallowed it. The darling boy.
- It’s vegetable curry for supper.
- See this ceanothus on the way here:
- We have found my EHIC and Caxton cards. Phew.
- See Gandalf tomorrow for the first time in ages. Have missed him.
- Push self hard at gym:
- Electrician has fixed all my bathroom lights.
- Spin tomorrow before Gandalf.
Happy Thursday everyone!
*1971. Song by The Kinks. Written by Ray Davies. Appears on the album Muswell Hillbillies.