Susannah’s Still Alive*

So, this is 

My new normal.

This is how 

My mood is now:

Up – and yet 

Behind my smiles

It’s all still there:

All the years of 

Ups and downs

Gather behind my eyes.

It’s never over.

Nineteen years of

Depression and

Hypomania.

The panther’s gone

For now: but he’ll

Return one day.

The constant headaches

Caused by letrazole

The Oncologist says

So I take nurofen

Do my best 

To please everyone.

Do my best

To achieve this

Balanced personality.

Walk the dogs

Kiss them

Push myself

Hard at training,

Build my muscles,

Work on being

A functioning member 

Of Society –

If society even exists:

I’m not sure.

It’s been raining:

We need the rain –

It’s bone dry 

In the fields

Where I walk Gandalf.

There’ll probably be

Another drought

This summer.

Sipping my coffee,

I cross my fingers

That it will go well

With New Chap 

When I’m there.

Staying in his house

In Abroad.

Please let it be 

A Good Time

For both of us.

I deserve it –

Not, of course

That life works

Like that –

Life is cruel.

But irises bloom,

And somewhere 

A Wild Lion

Thumps on heavy paws:

Soon he’ll come in

For supper and his pill.

I love him.

So I sip my coffee,

Write this poem,

Pray for the strength

To keep going

On and on and on.

Here’s my new dress.  It’s a French make Called L’Onkel from Myla Clare in the village:

http://www.mylaclare.co.uk

http://www.lonkelshop.com

The attached photo is me with The Boss and The Master at Spin this morning.

Happy Wednesday everyone!
*1967.  Song by The Kinks.  Written by Dave Davies and released as a single.

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2 comments

  1. L. Rorschach · May 16

    This really touched me. I needed it today, so thank you. 🙂

    I hope you have a fabulous time with New Chap. When’s the trip?

    Liked by 1 person

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