I cry to fill the marble halls

To quiet the wren who with me falls

Into the depths with acid rain

She should have flapped her way again

Down my windpipe it is plain.

She flutters in my stomach now

I sweat and sweat and mop my brow.

I listen to the gentle fan,

I climb the walls of ancient halls.

Dark, and deep, and quiet here

I rest a while, it is clear

I never will be free of Seb

I never will be me again

The trickle only of the rain 🌧

The gentle puff of every train 🚂

The chug, the whirr, the dragonfly

The birds and insects why oh why

Down in the depths:

The sparrows now in Greek they sing

I do not hear the doorbell ring.

Night time: now they are asleep

But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep.

And now within the halls it’s deep

I must, I must now try to sleep

Until morning: if I start soon

I gaze outside, I see the moon 🌓

The passing plane ✈️ her lights all flash

Is it dot or is it dash

Is it her or is it him

I love you Seb 💓 .

We can’t begin again you say.

I need the light, the light of day 💡

Inside my heart ❣ now it is grey

I rip down curtains, don’t delay.

Estella’s gone: now Pip’s alone,

Dying soldiers in trenches moan.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light,

Anxiety the wren takes flight.

Down and down and down we go,

Tied together for all time.

Seb is gone now: really gone.

Fourteen years I’ve spent on him,

Can I really now begin

Can I: who knows, I can but try –

I really don’t, don’t want to die.

I pop some more Promethezine.

The last time my love was seen

He said he had to now be alone

I can cry and I can moan

I can howl and I can roar

It can’t be how it was before

It’d be good to feel anger now

Not this sadness. I mop my brow

The room cools down now,

I must rest but

This poem is not my best.

I lost Seb and with him love,

They catch and kill and eat the dove 🕊

*1843. By Alfred Bunn. Lyrics to the opera The Bohemian Girl by Michael William Balfe.