Beware Of Pity*

Bliss is it in this dawn to be alive,

But to be forty is very heaven!

Lying on the grass I thrive,

Pencil โœ๏ธ marks turned up to eleven.

Scribbling on Memoir script here:

Fluffball is out now: I know not where.

I touch and touch and touch my hair –

It falls out in clumps yet I don’t care.

The sun beats down upon my back –

Sipping iced coffee, I’m on track

To edit the whole thing today:

I’ll get it done, I will – hooray.

Fluffball stays out till well past eight

I scribble on my script till late

In sunglasses till it is dark,

On the grass, not in the park.

Writing, editing all day long –

Play Better Things as it’s my song

From left-side radiotherapy:

Reading text that is by me,

Crossing out adverbs, and then

Mum will type it up again.

Memoir takes shape and I’m so pleased,

So grateful for this second wind.

My hair has definitely thinned,

I lose more, and day by day

The wig creeps closer though I pray

To write the best book that I can:

It’s more crucial than to net a man,

To hunt one down and force him to stay:

Let’s just let them run away.

Happy Friday everyone!

*1939. By Stefan Zweig. Classic novel made into a 1946 film ๐ŸŽฅ ๐ŸŽž by Maurice Elvey.

The Rider Waite Tarot Deck*

Walk to the gym for training in the sunshine. We do Upper Body today – See above Plank Press-up photo.

Walk home from gym in the sunshine. Am learning the Rider-Waite deck for my Tarot course which begins on Sunday at the Destiny Rising shop at the farm ๐Ÿ”ฎ ๐Ÿ’ซ. Am excited.

Here is my Rider Waite card for the day with my watercolour drawing of it:

Here is what it means:

Watch Kyrgios in the first round of the US Open where he plays a stunning match of unbelievable tennis whilst behaving well. Watch some of Tsonga’s match and then Novak’s. Novak isn’t on great form – struggling with an injury – and makes heavy weather of beating Londero 6 – 4, 7 – 6, 6 – 1.

Mum comes round at 5.20pm and we watch the start of Sascha Zverev’s match. Spend a lot of time sitting in the garden today which is lovely.

Whilst looking for my 2 huge vanished sun hats, come across this beautiful scarf from East Clothing. My dearly beloved boss who is now no longer with us gave it to me and I put it away unopened. It still has the tags on. So I put it on my pouffe and will do my card readings on top of it:

Look how much my drawing has improved in just one day:

Am back at the parental home having a pre-prandial cup of Chai in the garden.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*1910. By A. E. Waite. Illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith. The most popular and widely used tarot card deck in the world.


I’m the anaconda

She’s my skin

You know what state

The Amazon’s in.

Wildfires spread like rain

Fire-starter you’re the fireball

Tamandua’s in a ball

Tamanduas die in vain

It really needs to, needs to rain. ๐ŸŒง

Climate change does it exist:

Tamandua clenches her fist ๐Ÿค›

Jaguars ๐Ÿ† and tapirs there,

Slash and burn and lose their hair –

They lose their lives,

They lose the trees –

The fires burn on acid breeze.

The Universe bursts into flames ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Macaws ๐Ÿฆœ take flight they don’t play games.

Millipedes roll on jungle floor,

I know that we’ve been here before.

Sir David says it’s not enough

To stop the fires ๐Ÿ”ฅ – you’re too rough:

Slash and burn: now you’re too late –

The fire’s ๐Ÿ”ฅ In The hands of Fate.

The furies rise, anacondas hiss ๐Ÿ:

Asteroid โ˜„๏ธ zooms past: it’s a near miss.

Dinosaurs ๐Ÿฆ• are dead and gone –

You put, you put The Orb back on.

Every night and every morn,

Some to burning bushes born,

Every morn and every night,

Some are born to run or fight.

You stroke the snake ๐Ÿ,

I’m warm and smooth –

I’m happy here,

Not going to move.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*1920-1. By DH Lawrence. Taormina. Appears in Birds, Beasts and Flowers: Poems. 1923.

Magical Unicorns*

Dwayne the stray cat visits me this morning. My neighbour is going to take him to the vet, see if he’s microchipped and if not, adopt him which is great as he is my friend now – Dwayne that is. New neighbour is lovely too: he’s 28 and works in financial services. We’ve agreed to water each other’s plants when necessary which is good.

Walk Dolly. Draw another unicorn ๐Ÿฆ„. Pull some cards. Watch Roger’s match from yesterday and the Serena vs Sharapova show down which Serena runs away with 6 – 1, 6 – 1. I love having Amazon Prime and Netflix like a real person!

Now I’m looking after Agent Orange for the first time in ages. It’s so good to see her but I’m So Hot and Tired! We’re watching American Crime Story: The People vs OJ Simpson which is beyond brilliant. Will be able to watch the rest of it on my Netflix at home!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

*2005. By Doreen Virtue. A 44 oracle card deck with guidebook.

Peaky Blinders*

Achievements Of The Day:

  1. Wake up and have coffee in my Goddess mug and breakfast and finish Shtisel.
  2. Start watching Stranger Things series 2.
  3. Feed the stray tuxedo cat who visits. Lovely Film Chap brought some cat food last night.
  4. Water my hydrangeas and geraniums.
  5. Go for walk to purchase sparkling water and Halo Top low calorie salted caramel ice cream ๐Ÿจ. Freezer is broken so it is in fridge which is not very good for it.
  6. Oil pastels, charcoal, sketch pad, art pencils โœ๏ธ and watercolour pencils arrive ๐Ÿ–ผ ๐ŸŽจ.
  7. Draw a unicorn ๐Ÿฆ„ and a caracal but caracal’s head goes wrong. Love working with oil pastels so well but they’re not great for very detailed work.
  8. Agent Orange and her owner pop round to give me the keys ๐Ÿ”‘ as I’m looking after her all afternoon and evening tomorrow. She is pleased to see me which is good. Will have seven hours to draw her tomorrow.
  9. Last night Film Chap ๐ŸŽž ๐ŸŽฅ says he’s “touched” that I’m knitting him a scarf ๐Ÿงฃ ๐Ÿงถ so that’s good. We sit in my garden till he goes home at eleven o’clock โฐ. Have a lovely evening: he’s very kind to me and I enjoy his company very much.
  10. Watch yesterday’s first episode of Peaky Blinders series five. We’re in 1929 now and Tommy meets Oswald Mosley. It’s brilliant: tight, bouncy and punchy. It’s great to see Helen McCrory who is one of my favourite actresses and of course Cillian Murphy as Tommy. Sam Claflin plays Mosley and I expect we’ll be seeing plenty more of him.
  11. Watch Jo Konta winning, Angie Kerber losing and Venus Williams winning 6 – 1, 6 – 0.
  12. Am going to sleep now: it’s been a lovely, relaxing day of pursuing an old hobby.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday everyone.

  • *2013. TV series. Stars Cillian Murphy, Helen McCrory, Sophie Rundle and Paul Anderson. Created by Steven Knight.
  • Lover*

    We’ve all got crowns ๐Ÿ‘‘

    You need to come Down

    From the elevated marble halls

    You cook and cook and eat golf๐ŸŒ๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ balls ๐ŸŽฑ

    You’re a sea otter in the bay

    Oh how I miss Monterey

    Plastic invades every day

    You crack a sea urchin with a rock

    And now you are going to block

    Fade it back now, fade to grey

    It’s a sunny, sunny ๐ŸŒž โ˜€๏ธ day

    40 purple flowers on Morning Glory

    Mum’s garden blooms now that’s a story

    Come into the garden Maud

    You say but then she will get bored

    You elevate your mood on clouds

    The fan it whirrs it’s very loud

    The ice cream van draws quite a cloud

    It was a mobile gas chamber then

    When the world was ruled by Aryan men

    The hardest word now is no bid

    That’s what Mum says coz of bridge

    People are trying each other to outbid

    Why can’t you just put a lid

    On it the Tupperware is lost

    The raft it will be tempest tossed

    Caliban is very furry

    But my mind now it is blurry

    Or is it Chewie – what a lad

    Ewoks are just very bad

    *2019. By Taylor Swift. Album. Brilliant.

    Romario is buried here

    94 – now what a year

    Brazil’s World ๐ŸŒ Cup and Furry’s birth

    Now he lies here – in the earth

    Underneath a white, white rose ๐ŸŒน

    In the summer sun ๐ŸŒž it glows

    I come down here for Private Chats

    He really was the King ๐Ÿ‘‘ Of Cats ๐Ÿˆ

    Of Fluffball: what on earth ๐ŸŒ would he think

    His rose ๐Ÿฅ€ it drinks, it drinks, it drinks.

    The everlasting summer rain

    With Fluffball we begin again

    Furrypops is not forgotten

    Beneath the earth now he is rotten

    He is now food for worms, and sings

    The blackbird’s ever blacker wings

    The dove ๐Ÿ•Š rises again and she sets

    She mustn’t get her plumage wet

    You cook the dove ๐Ÿ•Š you roast her whole

    Furrypops lies in that hole

    Beneath his rose, beneath their feet

    Journeys end and lovers meet ๐Ÿ’•

    How much can a Fluffball eat

    Seven breakfast, eighteen lunches

    You look for him, follow the crunches

    He lies prone on marble floors

    Our marble table he endures

    He can’t even stand closed doors

    Furry was a rarer beast ๐Ÿ‰

    Now He is dead and Fluffball eats

    He chomps his breakfast, eats it whole

    He is at supper

    Not where he eats but where he is eaten

    The bell it rings ๐Ÿ”” it rings it tolls

    For Duncan covered in gilded blood

    Soaked to the skin

    Macbeth is guilty but what of Basil ๐ŸŒฟ

    Basil Fawlty

    Fawlty Towers is the best

    Beneath your feet now Furry rests

    A special cat ๐Ÿฑ he was the best

    Fluffball is a flightless bird ๐Ÿง

    Black tail feathers he was heard

    Archaeopteryx has claws and teeth ๐Ÿฆท

    A piteous whine he needs third supper

    All our other plans he scuppers

    Cats ๐Ÿˆ will live they have nine lives

    You can howl but you will cry ๐Ÿ˜ญ

    Marble Halls*

    I cry to fill the marble halls

    To quiet the wren who with me falls

    Into the depths with acid rain

    She should have flapped her way again

    Down my windpipe it is plain.

    She flutters in my stomach now

    I sweat and sweat and mop my brow.

    I listen to the gentle fan,

    I climb the walls of ancient halls.

    Dark, and deep, and quiet here

    I rest a while, it is clear

    I never will be free of Seb

    I never will be me again

    The trickle only of the rain ๐ŸŒง

    The gentle puff of every train ๐Ÿš‚

    The chug, the whirr, the dragonfly

    The birds and insects why oh why

    Down in the depths:

    The sparrows now in Greek they sing

    I do not hear the doorbell ring.

    Night time: now they are asleep

    But I have promises to keep

    And miles to go before I sleep.

    And now within the halls it’s deep

    I must, I must now try to sleep

    Until morning: if I start soon

    I gaze outside, I see the moon ๐ŸŒ“

    The passing plane โœˆ๏ธ her lights all flash

    Is it dot or is it dash

    Is it her or is it him

    I love you Seb ๐Ÿ’“ .

    We can’t begin again you say.

    I need the light, the light of day ๐Ÿ’ก

    Inside my heart โฃ now it is grey

    I rip down curtains, don’t delay.

    Estella’s gone: now Pip’s alone,

    Dying soldiers in trenches moan.

    Rage, rage against the dying of the light,

    Anxiety the wren takes flight.

    Down and down and down we go,

    Tied together for all time.

    Seb is gone now: really gone.

    Fourteen years I’ve spent on him,

    Can I really now begin

    Can I: who knows, I can but try –

    I really don’t, don’t want to die.

    I pop some more Promethezine.

    The last time my love was seen

    He said he had to now be alone

    I can cry and I can moan

    I can howl and I can roar

    It can’t be how it was before

    It’d be good to feel anger now

    Not this sadness. I mop my brow

    The room cools down now,

    I must rest but

    This poem is not my best.

    I lost Seb and with him love,

    They catch and kill and eat the dove ๐Ÿ•Š

    *1843. By Alfred Bunn. Lyrics to the opera The Bohemian Girl by Michael William Balfe.