The Terrace*

Mum takes me on a little trip to the flat today to see how it’s doing. Once there, I feel so grateful that I’m quarantined with my parents and not on my own in the flat.

Feel a calm acceptance today that this is the situation and that I can deal with it. It won’t last forever and I’m with my parents and my Fluffball. It is nearly spring and we have our garden.

We go to Shenley for our walk and see some cowslips:

Am lying on my bed writing this. The panther lies next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. I’m used to his presence now.

Tonight we’re having a Zoom chat over dinner with some parental friends. Mum is making me my favourite spinach and mushroom bottomless quiche.

Have a long sleep this afternoon which does help. I miss seeing the dogs: we see Gandalf out for a walk with his owner yesterday but we’re not allowed to cuddle him.

Am going to have a bath now 🛀.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

*2018. By Caroline Gilfillan. Murder mystery novel.

The Mistletoe Murder*

“Everything you do is pointless,” the panther says, lying on my chest.

“No it isn’t,” I say, pushing him off me, sitting up.

I know how important it is, right now, to keep going, to stick to my routine.

Go for a walk with Mum. It’s cold again, six degrees, and we wear our coats.

We see some mistletoe in the trees:

And some more fritillaries in the front garden:

I keep going. I meditate and sleep and write my Tarot post. I’m pleased to see that there’s going to be a Tarot For Growth April which I can join in with. I need to keep going with my Tarot.

My thoughts of Seb haven’t gone but they have lessened somewhat which is good.

Mum washes my hair over the sink. It feels good to have clean hair again.

Fluffball is in now and sleeps on his chair in the playroom.

There will be more tennis to watch later.

Happy Monday everyone!

*2016. By PD James. Short story collection.


Wake up and lift some weights in bed. It’s too windy to go for our walk this morning. Give Fluffball one of his breakfasts.

Read Independence Square but I’m not really enjoying it.

Mum polishes all the orchids. Here are some of them:

Have lunch and then we go for our walk. It is cold and I wear my big coat.

Meditate and sleep. My cold, which I’ve had since before Christmas, has worsened and am feeling dizzy.

Fluffball is in now: sleeping on his chair in the playroom.

Have bath. Am doing well and having a bath every day at the moment.

Isolation is hard. Am missing my exercise classes and the dogs. Last night my trainer phones and it’s good to talk to her.

Last night we watch Witness which is excellent. Am going to post this and then there will be some tennis on Eurosport at six o’clock.

Am sitting on my bed writing this. The panther rests his heavy head in my lap.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*1985. Feature film. Stars Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis.

Independence Square*

Today feels a bit better. Go for a walk with Mum to the woods, the panther trailing behind us. On my return home, finally finish The Mirror And The Light.

Have a good sleep this afternoon and wake up feeling restored. When the panther is here, my mood comes up a little in the late afternoon.

Have a new book to read:

Am going to crack on with it now. When the panther is here, I have more concentration for reading.

It’s colder today and wear my coat for this morning’s walk. It is good that no-one can make me do anything. All that I have left to do today is my daily tarot post, but first reading.

Fluffball is inside sleeping now but no need for a photo as he looks the same as he did yesterday, and the day before that.

Happy Saturday everyone!

*2020. By A.D. Miller. Novel.

The Way To The Stars*

Last night we watch The Way To The Stars which is really good.

Wake up this morning with the panther lying on top of me. Have been expecting him and it’s almost a relief that he’s here now. Pushing him off me, I sit up in bed.

There is a mix-up at the GP so I have my Zoladex as well as my bum injections at the cancer hospital. Mum is not allowed to come in with me so I am brave in my own. The nurses are lovely to me.

Have a sleep this afternoon and then do the last module of my Zoology Diploma.

We have a Zoom chat with my brother in Abroad.

Play with Fluffball in the garden earlier:

Now he is inside sleeping again:

Am lying on my bed writing this and the panther is stretched out next to me, his head on my shoulder.

Happy Friday everyone!

*1945. Feature film. Stars Michael Redgrave, John Mills, Rosamund John and Douglass Montgomery. Written by Terence Rattigan.

Bringing Up Baby*

Last night we watch Bringing Up Baby which is hilarious.

Don’t feel good today. Haven’t seen the panther yet but I think he’s coming.

Have my blood tests at the cancer hospital 🏥 which is fine but what isn’t good is that Mum won’t be able to come in and hold my hand for my bum injections tomorrow. I will have to go through them alone.

We have a walk and after lunch I meditate and sleep. One sign of depression is a lift in my mood in the early evening and have been feeling that the last few days.

Do a module of my Zoology Diploma when I wake up this afternoon and now am going to wash my hair. Fluffball is in now:

Earlier he was chasing an injured robin in the garden. Mum got the robin away from him.

Oh dear I don’t feel good.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*1938. Feature film starring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. Directed by Howard Hawks.

I’ll Keep You Safe*

Chat to Katie from Mind when she calls at 9.15am. Am in Fluffball’s bedroom and give him his second breakfast. He is very happy to have all his humans at home with him all the time.

Then go for walk with Mum but sadly without Gandalf. We go to the woods anyway. See this magnolia down the road:

Mum’s camellia is flowering now:

Chat to my bestie Mary for the first time in ages. It is so good to talk to her. My lovely Rabbi calls too and it is good to talk to her too.

Tell Suzy that am being tortured by thoughts of Seb and she sends me a video by a psychologist who talks about “resurfacing past traumas” during this pandemic. Today’s card is the card of heartbreak – the Three of Swords ⚔️:

Feel loads better now. Definitely have some indicators of depression such as sleeping a lot and feeling a bit better in the early evening. But the panther is not here. We’re living through strange times.

Do a module of my Zoology Diploma, meditate and sleep. Have a mango 🥭 when wake up but that’s the last mango!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*2018. By Peter May. Thriller.

Rosemary’s Baby*

Watch Rosemary’s Baby last night which I enjoy but Mum doesn’t.

Don’t sleep well. Have bad dreams and wake up a lot. Finally wake up at 9.20am to a message from Gandalf’s owner saying that I can’t walk him for the moment. Am going to miss my darling boy.

Mum takes me to the flat to pick up my bromeliads and Christmas cacti.

Sit in the garden after lunch and watch the blue tits and great tits on the feeder. A fritillary is flowering:

Meditate and sleep. Do a module of my Zoology Diploma.

Have words with self about pulling self together. Exchange some messages with friends.

Am going to have a bath 🛀 now.

Fluffball is in and I have a chat with him and stroke his soft fur.

I will be OK once these obsessive thoughts of Seb leave me alone. On the plus side am talking to Katie from Mind again tomorrow.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

*1968. Feature Film starring Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, Ruth Gordon and Sidney Blackmer. Directed by Roman Polanski.

Nightshade For Warning*

Chat to Katie from Mind when she calls at 9.15am. She is going to call on Wednesday too.

Have a restorative walk this morning in the sunshine which makes me feel so much better. It is really starting to look like Spring outside: tulips, magnolias and camellias are all in bloom.

Do a module of my Zoology Diploma.

Dad makes soda bread 🍞 and we have that for lunch with minestrone soup made by Mum yesterday.

Meditate and have a long sleep from 2.30pm to 6pm.

Have just woken up. Am going to chat with parentals and Fluffball.

Happy Monday everyone!

*2017. By Bailey Cattrell. The second Enchanted Gardens mystery novel.

Altered State*

How To Keep Your Spirits Up During Self-Quarantine

  1. Have a Zoom chat with your besties. Have one with Suzy, Hannah and Dave earlier and it is lovely. We plan to do it again soon.
  2. Spend time with your pets who are so happy that you’re at home with them All The Time.
  3. Do an online course in something: the Centre Of Excellence has all courses for £29 with the code LEARNATHOME.
  4. Go for a walk.
  5. Do weights at home.
  6. Read.
  7. Write.
  8. Watch television.
  9. Take up Tarot.
  10. Sleep: I’m sleeping Loads at the moment.
  11. Talk to your companions if you’re lucky enough to have any.
  12. Paint.
  13. Draw.
  14. Knit.
  15. Watch an online exercise class and join in.
  16. Take it one day at a time.

It’s taking all my strength at the moment not to message Seb but I’m managing it and am sure that these feelings will pass soon.

Mum washes my hair over the sink so that’s one job done.

Am So Glad that we made it to Whipsnade yesterday as today they announce that they’re closing for the foreseeable future.

In less good news: message Dolly’s owner to say we can’t walk her at the moment. Am sad about this: will miss my giant fluffy chum.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*1997. By Matthew Collin. The story of Ecstasy culture and Acid House.