Find You First*

Wake up crying about my ex-boss being dead. I have Bad Janet Days sometimes, just not as often as before. My darling ex-colleague whom I haven’t seen since the funeral comes round and we have flat whites and salted caramel chocolate 🍫 brownies from Costa with orange melon 🍈 and coffee ice cream 🍨.

It’s warm – twenty degrees – and sunny 🌞 and we sit in the garden 🪴 on a blanket.

Then she helps me with my bath 🛁 and puts a new dressing on my radiotherapy burn.

We talk about old times and I do a Tarot Reading for her face to face. I can hardly remember anything and then keep looking in the book 📖. I will stick to online readings until I have had more face-to-face practise. On the plus side the cards gave a resounding Yes! Go for it! to her question about whether or not to do something life-changing so that is good.

Meditate 🧘‍♀️ but can’t sleep. Get up and talk to brother briefly and then Suzy whilst she is on a long drive to deepest South London.

Mum comes to get me from flat and we change my sheets as it’s hot in the flat at night and I sweat all over them. I put the heating down at night but the temperature even with no hearing is about twenty degrees.

Do a wash and hang the clothes on the airer when I wake up from my sleep. Put dishwasher on and take out rubbish and recycling before I go.

Arrive home to find Fluffball in the front garden. Mum calls him but he doesn’t come in and vanishes.

Have my supper: toasted goat cheese and pesto sandwich 🥪 with raw spinach.

Mum goes out again to look for Fluffball and finds him in the hedge. She rattles his food bowl and he does running to get to his supper. Thank G-d. I was worried that he’d gone missing again.

Now am back in bed under my summer blanket which is dark purple velvet.

On the not-plus-side I have cystitis so will have to get something to treat it with tomorrow.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*2021. By Linwood Barclay. Murder mystery thriller.

One comment

  1. TheFeatheredSleep · June 17, 2021

    I think you do a better job than anyone I know at remaining as positive as it realistic, but equally, if you have those days, that is all right too, because you are human and you have a lot to handle and do it so well – but even if you didn’t I would admire the heck out of you


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