When Chimpanzees Dream Astrology*

Fluffball spat out his Piriton 4 times ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ we try again tomorrow.
New normal colour wig for if I need to do Publicity for the Memoir when it comes out Soon!
Book by Amazing astrologer who spoke at the conference I attended on the astrological signs of different artists and architects and how this affected their work. Also he is very handsome and has sexy Berlin accent. Birthday ๐Ÿฅณ present from one of my favourite uncles.
Card for the day from my new Tarot Illuminati – birthday present from my bipolar male bestie Leon.
Card for the day for Mary. I love this deck ๐Ÿ˜ป.
A second card for the day. I love the Prince of Wands in this deck. Itโ€™s one of my Heart ๐Ÿ’œ Decks definitely ๐Ÿ’š.
Look how stunning even the box is ๐Ÿ“ฆ!
This ๐Ÿ˜‚

Go to sleep yesterday afternoon. Wake up at five oโ€™clock for supper. Go back to sleep. Mum wakes me up and gives me my night time meds ๐Ÿ’Š at nine. Sleep till six oโ€™clock this morning.

Am upset as the Barre crew am at a Real Life Class that my darling teacher is now running at the new expensive sportswear shop in the village: Boutique 8. Iโ€™m not allowed to go because COVID-19 ๐Ÿฆ . Cry ๐Ÿ˜ญ. Return to bed.

Speak to Mary. Feel a bit better. Go to Destiny Rising at the farm and buy some Energy Incense. In the farm shop purchase:

  1. Lemon ๐Ÿ‹ curd
  2. Cook ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿณ Asparagus, pea, feta and Parmesan tart which have for supper and itโ€™s excellent ๐Ÿ˜‹.
  3. Chocolate ๐Ÿซ ice cream ๐Ÿจ with chunky bits.
  4. Cook ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ Mexican Three Bean Chilli.
  5. Freshly squeezed orange ๐ŸŠ juice ๐Ÿงƒ and freshly squeezed cloudy apple ๐Ÿ juice by Folkingtons.
  6. Iced coffee โ˜•๏ธ in cans.

Speak to my psychiatrist Dr Stein and he waves his magic wand ๐Ÿช„ and everything seems better.

Talk to Leon and Mary again. Am cheerful today.

Sit outside in the garden in the sunshine ๐ŸŒž with Mum and Fluffball. Wear sun hat ๐Ÿ‘’ and dress ๐Ÿ‘— and Fit Flops ๐Ÿฉด. Walk to post box ๐Ÿ“ฌ with Mum. The house martins are back from Africa for the summer. They return to the same house ๐Ÿก in Beech Avenue every year. Itโ€™s a miracle.

Call GP surgery to make an appointment to talk to doctor ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ next month: she wants to speak to me every month. Talk to Rosie – well-being coordinator at my synagogue ๐Ÿ• who used to be at Mind and sheโ€™s coming round on Friday morning. Need the extra support as really ill ATM ๐Ÿคข ๐Ÿคฎ ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿฅฑ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿคง๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ˜ท.

Tidy bedroom a bit but itโ€™s a losing battle.

Cuddle Fluffball. Try to assemble my new Lego knights but theyโ€™re fiddly and Iโ€™m too tired.

Talk to parents whilst they have supper.

Now finally am writing this. Going to sleep a bit later tonight as am determined to have a lie-in tomorrow: fifteen hours of sleep last night was good: I need More Sleep Every Night.

Just have to write my Tarot Card of the Day post now.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*2004. By Alexander Graf Von Schlieffen. An introduction to the quadrants of the horoscope.

Drinking: A Love Story*

There is someone sleeping on my bed

Wake up after a good long sleep: half past nine last night to five oโ€™clock this evening. Feel sick.

Write five pages of Memoir before breakfast.

Do Pilates and work very hard. It is good to see my teacher and chums. Pilates really is a life-saver: I can feel really ill at the start, but once Iโ€™m absorbed in the movements I soon feel better. Chat to the Pilates crew afterwards.

Dad picks me up and takes me to the hospital for my blood ๐Ÿฉธ and Covid-19 tests. Tell the nurses that I feel sick all the time and am sick every evening and they say they will talk to the pharmacist tomorrow about a new anti-sickness drug regime.

Also I have run out of Omeprazole which settles my stomach. Will receive more tomorrow at chemo. They notice that my mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ is really dry and say that I need Starburst (used to be Opal Fruits) ๐Ÿ“ ๐ŸŠ to make me produce more saliva. So we purchase some at the Esso garage nearby, as well as a couple of protein drinks to have in the evening.

Next time Dad shops at Costco am going with him as they have cheap protein drinks there.

Mum is typing up my first fifteen pages of new Memoir material. Iโ€™m on my bed. So is Fluffball. He is asleep but keeps stretching his legs out. He is dreaming.,

The inside of my nose is already coming out after my COVID-19 test. Nose is very sore.

Have a lovely long sleep after lunch and then have apple ๐Ÿ crumble and coffee ice cream๐Ÿฆ at four oโ€™clock followed by a protein drink at half past five.

Oh please G-d donโ€™t let lower dose of chemo make me ill. Also it would be good if it can stop the cancer spreading at all.

Over the weekend a relationship that I have been in on and off for eleven years came to an end. He was horrible to me and told me that no-one will ever love me because Iโ€™m too ill. I have deleted and blocked him everywhere but still feel sad about this.

Fluffball has just turned over in his sleep. I miss my precious angel when Iโ€™m not here: his soft, orange presence is so soothing.

Going to have an early night tonight. Will read Drinking: A Love Story in bed.

Happy Monday everyone!

*1996. By Caroline Knapp. Memoir.

Writing Down The Bones*

Achievements Of The Day:

1. Sleep from nine oโ€™clock last night until five oโ€™clock this morning.

2. Do two Tarot Readings for a customer.

3. See oncologist who says we are starting on a lower dose of chemotherapy on Tuesday.

4. He arranges for me to stay at my hospital on Tuesday after chemo until Friday. Am relieved to be avoiding A & E.

5. Go to the farm with Mum to purchase provisions for my weekend at the flat.

6. Meditate ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ and sleep.

7. Draw a flow diagram for the Memoir of the fallout from the end of my relationship with Seb.

8. Have a Marks & Spencer Cheese and Celery sandwich ๐Ÿฅช for supper. My darling Auntie procured it yesterday.

9. Cuddle Fluffball.

10. Receive money for another Tarot Reading which I will do tomorrow.

11. Feel happy and relaxed about new chemo plan.

12. Love my parents So Much.

*1986. By Natalie Goldberg. How to write book. A classic.

The Lionโ€™s Mouth*

Photograph of brother and me in our matching burgundy tracksuits. Aren’t we adorable ๐Ÿฅฐ.

Achievements Of The Day

  1. Am not sick again last night.
  2. Sleep from half past nine last night till half past five this morning.
  3. Wake up feeling refreshed.
  4. Fluffball is allowed out and has a great day in the sunshine ๐ŸŒž.
  5. Finish going through Memoir so now Mum can type up the changes.
  6. Have CT scan for radiotherapy.
  7. Which will take place tomorrow!
  8. Start reading The Sober Diaries and am enjoying it.
  9. Pleased with the Progress of Memoir now.
  10. Personal Training at one o’clock. Work hard and teacher is pleased with me. Feel so much better after my exercise as usual.
  11. Have lunch.
  12. Go for walk with Mum around the garden.
  13. Meditate and sleep.
  14. Wake up and have my pineapple ๐Ÿ.
  15. And then my supper at four thirty.
  16. Dad takes me to St Albans for my second vaccination ๐Ÿ’‰: I’m now fully vaccinated which is a relief.
  17. Cuddle Fluffball. His eyes ๐Ÿ‘€ are running a bit, but he’s much better and more cheerful now that he’s been out.
  18. Clean my lenses.
  19. Wear my new lion ๐Ÿฆ socks ๐Ÿงฆ from Whipsnade.
  20. Talk to parentals whilst they have dinner.
  21. Now I’m listening to Claude Challe in my bedroom.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*1999. By Anne Hoult. A Hannah Wilhelmsen detective novel, book 4.

Something In The Way*

Wake up yesterday and spend some time with Fluffball. Cuddle him and give him his second breakfast. It’s pouring with rain all day so he doesn’t spend much time outside.

See my psychiatrist Dr Stein who is pleased that mood remains up. He promises to write to oncologist and lung specialist about me: I may seem cheerful and positive as mood is up, but actually I am suffering a lot with all the restrictions placed on my daily life by my terrible physical health problems. Feel better after talking to him as, unlike the other doctors, he really listens and understands me. This cheers Mum too.

Work hard at Barre although have to lie down during the warm-up as when am lying down my lungs don’t press against my stomach, forcing it up and causing the terrible nausea. We do lots of legs and bum. Glutes hurt now and abs still hurt from Wednesday.

Go out to my friend’s birthday last night:

It’s in a gastropub in Dalton called the Hunter S. When mood is up, really enjoy going out and meeting people. A lot of friends don’t invite me to parties ๐Ÿฅณ as they think I’ll say no because of my illness, but I’m happy to take Ubers and it’s good to talk to people about normal things.

Bump into an old friend who I’ve lost touch with recently. He’s a healer and we’re on similar spiritual paths. We promise to stay in touch. He doesn’t know how I’ll I am, which is frustrating as we have mutual friends who I think could’ve let him know. Anyway: we have rekindled our friendship.

Am having such fun that stay out till 10.20pm.

Wake up at 6.30am and watch Rafa beating Taylor Fritz to take the Mexican Open title for the third time. He is now its youngest and oldest winner! Amazing Rafa ๐Ÿ. Then watch the second set of his semifinal match vs Dimitrov.

We go to Kings Place for Jewish Book Week. Hear a Helen Fry talk about bugging Nazi Generals at Trent Park and then a talk about the relationship between Judaism and Psychoanalysis. Make notes in case the material will be useful for my Dream Analysis And Therapy Diploma which is next. The printed materials have arrived in time for me to take them to do the course when I’m in hospital.

Meditate but can’t sleep.

Am listening to Nirvana’s Nevermind album.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*1991. By Nirvana. Song from the album Nevermind.

Psychic Tarot*

Watch a new episode of Midsomer Murders last night about dancers. It is very good. The new series is excellent: look it up on the ITV player.

Have a long sleep and don’t wake up till 7.44am. Cuddle Fluffball.

This morning’s card is the Ace Of Wands from my Fantastical Creatures Tarot Deck:

The animal is a simurgh which is half-bird, half-mammal and lived in the secret mountains โ›ฐ where the sacred Tree ๐ŸŒฒ of Life cured all diseases. This prophetic creature also had magickal powers, great wisdom and healing feathers.

According to ancient Persian poetry, the powerful giant Rustam worked with the simurgh to defeat evil.

On this card, the simurgh’s powerful wand represents opportunities for change. The simurgh’s legendary wisdom can help you make correct choices. The half-formed faces in the massive stones symbolise the latent power of intention.

Divinatory Meaning: Past efforts and thoughts directed toward change allow you to take on a new role or make radical changes in your lifestyle. Freedom from restraints.

Magickal Uses: Use the Ace Of Wands as a focal point in meditations when you desire great changes in your life.

So I call on the simurgh to help me and finish reading Psychic Tarot. Hoping to become more psychic and intuitive in my readings.

Work hard at Pilates despite pain in abs from yesterday’s training.

My friend picks me up from the farm and we go to Daisy’s for lunch. Have the superfood salad ๐Ÿฅ— with halloumi:

My friend drops me home and meditate and sleep.

Wake up at 5.45pm. Another lovely long sleep.

Fluffball is still sleeping:

Tonight will be having my spinach and mushroom ๐Ÿ„ bottomless quiche. Please send thoughts and prayers as still no WiFi or telephone โ˜Ž๏ธ at parentals. It may be absent for several weeks according to BT.

Tonight we will watch a Poirot or Marple after supper and will do some knitting ๐Ÿงถ.

Happy Friday everyone!

*2011. By Nancy C. Antenucci and Melanie A. Howard. Learn to read tarot cards using your own psychic skills and gain new levels of inspiration, guidance and insight. Guidebook.

Of Human Bondage*

Last night we watch Of Human Bondage: the 1964 version starring Kim Novak, Laurence Harvey and Robert Morley. It’s wonderful. Definitely recommend it: apparently it’s better than the Bette Davis 1934 film.

Take some cat food and tennis balls ๐ŸŽพ to the Animal Welfare Trust with Mum. They are very grateful and say that people have been generous this Christmas. The animals will have turkey ๐Ÿฆƒ for lunch on Christmas ๐ŸŽ„ Day.

Work hard at Barre. My friend Yas is back from Paris for a bit and my teacher lends me some reindeer antlers: it’s our last Barre class before Christmas.

Have lunch with Yas and my lovely teacher at Daisy’s in the village. It’s great to go out with my chums.

Parentals return next to the flat and watch a couple of episodes of Vikings and meditate and sleep.

Do my Tarot Challenge with my Aleister Crowley Thoth Deck which I haven’t used much yet as I’ve been concentrating on learning Rider-Waite-Smith and this deck is very different.

Now am going to have some supper.

Happy Saturday everyone!

*1915. By William Somerset Maugham. It is generally agreed to be his masterpiece and to be strongly autobiographical in nature. Maugham stated “This is a novel, not an autobiography; though much in it is autobiographical, more is pure invention”.

The Knight Of The Swords*

Go for a walk in the sunshine ๐ŸŒž. It’s cold but the sky is blue.

Today’s Advent Challenge is meditation and I do a Walking Meditation: listening to the birdsong; feeling the wind in my hair; gazing at the bare trees.

Have lunch and do my Body Scan meditation and sleep.

Wake up and do Module 6 of the Mel Wells Intuitive Eaters Academy and Module 3 of the Persia Lawson Get Your Soulmate programme. Write up my work and post it in the Facebook groups.

Do my Tarot Challenge and pull the Knight of Swords ๐Ÿ—ก:

Swords โš”๏ธ stand for the element of Air. The Knight of Swords ๐Ÿ—ก. Notice the movement in this card: in Tarot, Knights are messengers. Notice the swallow above the horse, the sword ๐Ÿ—ก in the air and the crow flying in the direction of the horse. It’s a depiction of great energy.

The Knight of Swords ๐Ÿ—ก brings a youthful enthusiastic energy to a job, which brings with it the inspiration to create a pathway to success.

Drawing this card today means that soon I will need to concentrate on making more changes to my Memoir and mustn’t rush them as I want it to be the best book it can be.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*1971. By Michael Moorcock. Historical fantasy fiction novel. Book 1 in the Prince Corum series. The Knight of the Swords ๐Ÿ—ก here is Arioch.

The Rich Die Hard*

  • Achievements Of The Day:
    1. Walk to gym and am there by 8.29am.
      Do four sets of all my weights. Here I am:
      Finish my Knaussgard book.
      Drag case out from under bed and start setting out stuff to take on holiday. So far it’s just my a hoodie, my raincoat and seven tarot decks but will finish packing tomorrow.
      Have bath.
      Watch the first couple of episodes of Series 3 of The Crown which has just dropped on Netflix. Olivia Colman is now playing the Queen and Helena Bonham Carter is Princess Margaret.
      Now am watching the final of the tennis which is Dominic Thiem vs Stefanos Tsitsipas. Prefer Domi a bit but am not that bothered who wins which is nice.
      Do a collage for the first time in a while:
      Meditate.

    Happy Sunday everyone!

    *1957. By Beverley Nichols. A Mr Green detective novel.