The Pale Horse*

Wake up – myself – at seven o’clock. This is the first time I’ve woken self up for Ages. Maybe my mood is lifting.

Do Strength class which I love and chat to my teacher and friends.

It’s my Personal Trainer’s birthday and we go to The White Horse in Shenley for lunch.

I purchased this dress from Hayley Menzies last summer but this is the first chance I’ve had to wear it.

I get my teacher some stretchy ankle or wrist weights and she loves them:

I’m happy to have chosen the right present.

It is lovely to see my Pilates and Barre chums, to go out and chat. We seem to have endless amounts of things to talk about. They’re great people: I’m so glad to have them in my life.

Dad picks me up about 2.30pm and we rush home for my sleep.

Waking up, I have my snack in the garden and then come in for supper about 5pm. Fluffball has beaten me to it, so he’s fed first.

Now I’m in bed, Fluffball is under the dressing table and the panther is over by my wardrobe with his back to me. He’s not speaking to me, presumably because I had a fun time Out and wore a short dress, which he hates.

Had better settle down for my pre-sleep-sleep,

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*1961. By Agatha Christie. An Ariadne Oliver mystery, Book 5.


Wake up and have breakfast. Then go back to bed for a bit.

Katie visits at 9.30am: it’s good to see her. We sit in the garden.

Go to Pizza Express with my Pilates teacher and a Pilates chum. It’s good to see my chums and takes my mind off my current problems a bit. It’s not sunny but it’s not raining and we’re glad to be able to sit outside.

Meditate and sleep. Wake up and watch Roger get beaten in three sets, which is terrible.

Fluffball comes in and nestles under my dressing table chair. I’m just going to post this and then my Tarot Card of the Day. Am So Exhausted as usual and don’t find that I have much to put in the blog these days.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*1976. By Ralph M Demers. Tennis novel based at Queens and Wimbledon.

Murder With Cucumber Sandwiches*

More petunias
First cucumber 🥒 of the season
Fluffball performing his nursing duties

Wake up at seven o’clock. Have breakfast. Return to sleep till half past nine.

Visit oncologist. We are stopping chemo as it has made me too ill to continue with it. This is a relief.

There is a possibility that I may be suitable for a new hormone treatment. Must have a blood test to decide this. Please send thoughts and prayers that I will be able to have this treatment.

I go out near the end of the appointment so Mum can talk to oncologist on her own for a bit.

Have lunch and meditate and sleep. Wake up and Mum’s Bridge ♥️ ♦️ friends are here, so I sit with them outside – it’s warmer today and not raining – and have my snack. They leave at 4.40pm or so and then it’s time for my supper.

After supper: go to bed 🛌 and my nurse is already in position. He is grooming himself.

Having now finished grooming himself: he is sleeping: the most precious angel 😇.

Am looking forward to Pilates tomorrow and to feeling better as the chemo side effects wear off.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*2019. By Karen Rose Smith. A Daisy’s Tea Garden mystery, book 3.

The Yellow Iris*

We continue to give Fluffball his special post/operation food. He seems a lot better today: sleeping on my brother’s bed 🛌 and now on spotty sofa 🛋. Here he is this morning:

You can see the bare patch on his leg where it was shaved to allow drip and blood tests

When I wake up this morning I pull my Tarot card of the day:

Then read the Second House in Dane Rudyhar’s book The Twelve Astrological Houses. It’s So Good.

Do Pilates and Suzy joins the class which is great 👍.

Make the hour long journey to the Hearing Dog 🐶 Centre to meet my friend. It is good to see her and to see the planting:

Then sleep in car on way home. Then sleep three o’clock till five o’clock, when Mum wakes me up for bath 🛁 and supper which is goat 🐐 cheese, peppers 🫑, courgettes and red onions 🧅.

Now am back in bed.

Happy Friday everyone!

*1937. By Agatha Christie. Hercule Poirot short story. Crime fiction.

Vanishing Falls*

Yesterday starts off well: I do a recording of a Barre class sent to me by my beloved trainer and teacher.

Then most of the Barre crew come round. We sit in the sunshine in the garden and chat. One of my friends gives me the rainbow 🌈 striped Kurt Geiger hat 👒: it’s so kind of her. I have trainers 👟 and a handbag 👜 in the same range.

Meditate 🧘‍♀️ and sleep. When I wake up, my Rabbi visits. It’s so good to see her: we work out that we haven’t seen each other for years. We talk about Heaven and what it will be like when I arrive there.

Fluffball doesn’t come in for his supper and we go out to look for him. He’s in the hedge in the front garden 🪴. When he reaches us, we see that he has blood 🩸 on his chin. Once inside we examine his mouth and it’s full of blood.

We take him to the vet. She says we must take him to the hospital for X-rays. I’m not allowed to go into the room with Mum and Fluffball.

Mum takes me home and sets off for the hospital 🏥. There, they sedate him and do X-rays. Thank G-d he has no internal injuries.

He stays at the hospital 🏥 over night. They think he was hit by a car which seems unlikely as he just has one wound in his gums.

Finally make it to bed at about eight o’clock.

Don’t wake up till eight this morning: I think the stress and worry about Fluffball is making me even more tired. Poor Mum has a sleepless night.

Work hard at Personal Training and my trainer is pleased with me.

Our forty one year old fridge is about to die, so this morning the parentals make their way to Luton to find a new one. They find one but installing it inside will mean ripping the kitchen apart.

They pick up Fluffball and he seems pleased to be with us. His heart is beating really fast. He consumes two bowls of wet food. Then he goes to sleep behind the drinks and so at the back of Mum’s desk.

Now he is sleeping 😴 in my brother’s room, curled up. We have to keep him in for a while. He has antibiotics and painkillers. Poor precious angel 😇.

Have my sleep and mid-afternoon snack and now it’s supper time.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*2020. By Poppy Gee. Literary thriller.

The Azalea Assault*

In the garden yesterday the begonias, allium, irises, orange salvia, orange azalea and a wild lion 🦁 are in bloom. It’s another hot sunny day.

Have to cut Mum free as she, whilst sewing 🪡 🧵 the ripped canopy of the swinging chair, manages to sew it to her skirt. Eventually I find the sewing scissors ✂️ and release her!

Suzy has joined my Zoom Pilates class which is exciting. We have a good class and then I help her pick out equipment she will need on Amazon – yay 🥳. Excited to have her exercising online with me.

Give Fluffball his third breakfast. He does running into his room to arrive before me: precious angel.

Have lunch in the garden 🪴 then meditate and sleep. Wake up at three o’clock and have snack, then supper. Back in bed by quarter to six. Meditate 🧘‍♀️ and sleep. Fluffball comes in to sit with me: my fluffy nurse.

Wake up at eight o’clock. Mum brings me my pills 💊 and Laxido which is a powder that I have dissolved in water for my constipation: I recommend it.

Wake up at five o’clock this morning and do my Tarot Card For The Day:

I love the Hermetic Tarot which my lovely Aunty bought me for my birthday: it has the Golden Dawn names on the card and angels and Hebrew and so on.

Today I will do a recorded Pilates class and then the Barre group are visiting: they’re all doing a live studio class in the village but I’m not allowed because COVID-19 😢. Am really upset about this: just want to be able to do a live class with my chums but can’t until everyone is vaccinated 💉.

My Rabbi is coming round after my sleep at half past four this afternoon. It will be good to talk to her: she’s one of my favourite people in the world.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*2012. By Alyse Carlson. A Garden Society mystery Book 1. Set in Roanoke, Virginia. Starring Camellia Harris.

Way To Blue*

Don’t manage a blog yesterday, so am sorry about that: I do it now.

Wake up about five o’clock yesterday morning. Do some of my Astrology homework 📄 📖.

At six o’clock: Fluffball is lying on the floor in the hallway looking distressed.

“Breakfast, Fluffball?” I say, and he does running towards his food bowl. Give him some food. Find out a bit later that he hadn’t asked Mum for his middle-of-the-night snack. You’d think that having survived up the tree 🌳 for three weeks, he wouldn’t still need feeding every couple of hours, but he does.

Work hard at Pilates: there is a new person in the class, so that’s very good. She seems to enjoy it. Excitingly, Suzy is going to try out Pilates today: hope she loves it and will keep attending.

Walk to post box and see the house martins that live at the house opposite the letter box. They swoop and turn in the sky: gorgeous little creatures.

Parental friends come round for Brunch and we sit in the garden in the twenty degree sunshine. Here I am:

Lipstick 💄 by Urban Decay, blusher by Chantecaille.
My dress is Lonkel from Myla Clare in Radlett; fit flops from Amazon; wig also Amazon; prescription sunglasses 😎 from Radlett Opticians.
Notice Dad’s new Red parasol

Go to bed about one thirty after taking off all my make up. Sleep till three thirty. Meditate and sleep.

Wake up and eat my mango 🥭 and chocolate 🍫 brownie in the garden. Talk to Mum.

Have my bath 🛁 and Mum sits with me. She changes the dressing on the radiotherapy burn on my back and says that it’s Much Worse which is not what we want. Mum will speak to Macmillan nurse today about it. It is Very Itchy.

Have supper and quick chat with brother then am back in bed at six o’clock. Fluffball comes in to sit with me: he cleans his beautiful fur whilst lying under my dressing table.

Chat to MadFatRunner for a bit and am asleep at eight o’clock. Wake up at five o’clock this morning and do my Tarot Card For June:

The Star: I hope Agent likes Memoir and we can publish it soon. The Star is the card of becoming well known in your field or even famous.

Listening to Nick Drake. It looks to be another blue sky and sunshine 🌞 day.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

1968/69. Song by Nick Drake from the album Five Leaves Left.

The Drowning Kind*

Wake up at six o’clock but go back till half past eight. Pilates at nine fifteen for an hour and work hard. Astrology course half past ten till half past one. We learn about planets, houses and relationships. Will watch the rest later which is about work.

Sleep at two o’clock for an hour which isn’t long enough. Exhausted.

Ben comes round with my new birthday present Tarot deck: the Neon Moon. Thank you also to a couple of my cousins and another friend: it is not a cheap deck plus it shipped from America!

We sit in the garden in the warm sunshine 🌞 it’s lovely.

Ben changes my radiotherapy burn dressing. He has just finished working in a care home so is good at such things.

Now am back in bed at 5.55pm and will go to sleep in a minute.

Happy Saturday everyone!

2021. By Jennifer McMahon. Murder mystery thriller set in Vermont.

Sleeping Murder*

Wake up at six o’clock this morning after going to bed at eight o’clock last night. Have breakfast and go back to sleep till half past seven.

A couple of Mum’s friends come round and we sit in the garden 🪴: it is warm and sunny and Mum puts up the new red umbrella so I can have some shade. Go back to bed eleven till twelve o’clock.

We have lunch in the garden 🪴 for the second time this year. Dad brings me back to the flat and I sleep from two o’clock till 5.17pm when Suzy comes round. She sits in the garden and we have our supper. It is good to see her: it’s been a while.

I return to bed at ten past seven and do my Tarot Card of the Day. It’s apt that I pull the Four of Swords which is all about rest, taking it easy and taking a break.

It’s 8.14pm so I’m going to meditate and sleep now. I have a busy day tomorrow: all day Astrology course lectures and then Ben is coming round with my present 🎁 at 4.30pm.

I’m not quite sure whilst I’m suddenly So Exhausted. I’m on a lot of meds certainly. Oncologist says I must have as much sleep as I need. Also, today Pilates is cancelled and I don’t feel good if I can’t exercise.

I miss my fluffy angel nurse. I hope he is OK.

Happy Friday everyone!

*1976. By Agatha Christie. The last Miss Marple book. A classic. Read it!

Good, Clean Murder*

Pull my Card For The Day from my new Hermetic Tarot which was a gift from my Aunty. I love my new deck with the Golden Dawn names and esoteric symbols, and the original card names.

Katie came round who was at Mind but is now the community well-being person for our synagogue 🕍. It’s so good to see her: we really get on well. She is going to visit every two weeks which is great.

Mum brings me back to the flat. She cleans the kitchen and bathrooms and I hang up my winter dresses in the spare room and throw out some more clothes.

Have lunch, meditate and sleep. Talk to Leon when I wake up and am now waiting for Gemma to visit for the first time in a couple of years – where does the time go.

Had better post this and get ready.

Happy Friday everyone!

*2013. By Traci Tyne Hilton. Jane cleans houses to make ends meet but then there’s a series of murders. Book One in the Plain Jane Cozy Christian series.