Forty Years Of Murder*

It’s The Boss’s class and it’s a Hill. Here we are:

Here is graph:

The green bits are the bits of flat road.

So, have been working on this as 40 approaches:

Forty Things To Do Before You’re 40

  1. Spend the day in bed – thanks to a friend for this one.
  2. Go wild swimming.
  3. Go skinny dipping.
  4. Climb a mountain.
  5. Go skydiving in Israel – thanks to my cousin for this one. Won’t personally do it as am scared but MadFatRunner might…
  6. See the Northern Lights – going to do this and…
  7. … Husky Racing with Suzy on a pretend honeymoon.
  8. Become fluent in another language. Just need to brush up my Dutch, French, Hebrew and Italian.
  9. New Chap suggests: fly somewhere without booking the return flight,
  10. Spend at least 10% of your monthly income on a single restaurant dinner,
  11. Do whatever it is that scares you most in the world that’s not illegal or rationally dangerous.
  12. MadFatRunner suggests Base Jump from Meru Peak.
  13. Have at least five meals that you can cook from scratch.
  14. Compile a capsule wardrobe containing a great pair of jeans, a cashmere sweater, ankle boots, a printed dress, a little black dress, knee-high boots, a selection of vest tops and a statement coat.
  15. Buy yourself a diamond. No-one else will do it for you. Probably.
  16. Write a novel.
  17. Write a memoir.
  18. Go on a residential writing course.
  19. Take a playwrighting course.
  20. Visit your local museums.
  21. Join your local zoo.
  22. Buy a good pair of walking boots and take walks.
  23. Learn to knit.
  24. Learn to meditate. I did an eight week course but there are phone apps which will teach you.
  25. Join Instagram and follow hashtags such as #BernerLife. Follow @thenewfcrew, @lifewithmalamutes and @samdersoncooper_samoyed for all your fluffy dog needs.
  26. Follow @doesmybumlook40, @esthermcoren, @kerenbeaumont.stylist, @londonfashioninsider and @hannahfgale for all your fashion needs.
  27. Follow @dollyalderton, @britneyspears and @scarlettroserussell because you need them in your life.
  28. Make a Facebook page for your business or blog.
  29. Make a blog on WordPress and write it Every Day.
  30. Join to try out borrowing a dog to see if you can fit one into your life.
  31. Have a baby if you want one – it will get harder after forty.
  32. Try internet dating: start with Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
  33. Spend three months in Florence learning History of Art and Italian. Sign up here:
  34. Go to Venice. Waited until I was thirty nine and wish I’d gone sooner.
  35. When you’re in Florence, visit Siena, Pisa, Luca and Bologna.
  36. Do a one month Dutch course in Amsterdam.
  37. Volunteer. I volunteered for Riding For The Disabled – – but there are so many wonderful organisations who need your help – look here:
  38. Adopt a dog or cat from a shelter if you can.
  39. Learn to ride a horse.
  40. Don’t stress out about doing all these things before forty – you’ll probably be able to save some for later.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*1978. By Keith Simpson. A Home Office pathologist’s autobiography.

The Tiger’s Cave*

It’s The Princess’s class and it’s a Hill Climb. You can see me with The Boss and The Princess in the above photo: we are the triumvirate.

Try to keep the resistance around 6 for the hills and 5 for the very occasional flat roads. You can see the hills in yellow and the flat roads in green:

Then see psychiatrist. He is pleased that mood has come up a bit and that I managed a week of full-time work this week – well, 2 hours per day for four days, but that’s a lot for me.

We go to Elstree to buy some new trainers. Get some lovely black Puma ones. They have a bit of a platform. Show you:

Mum has just caught this person in the front garden:

We have people coming for dinner. Have shelled the peas.


  1. Sore side of mouth: cracked and bleeding. From chemo drugs.
  2. Sore roof of mouth: from chemo drugs.
  3. Terrible blisters on right foot: from chemo drugs.
  4. Sore face: from chemo drugs.
  5. Bad cold. Still. It will probably never get better.

In distressing news: my Male Sumatran tiger at my Zoo – Jae Jae – is moving to Denmark. He’s had five cubs with Melati here so the breeding programme need him to move on. I don’t think anyone has asked Melati what she thinks – I’m sure she doesn’t want to lose her chap – they’ve been together for six years. Am going to see my Jae Jae, maybe for the last time, on Monday when am meeting MadFatRunner’s lovely daughter for lunch in Camden.

Right, had better help Mum in the kitchen: people are coming for dinner.

Happy Saturday everyone!

*2010. By Bill Rogers. A DCI Tom Caton Manchester Murders Mystery Series Book 3.

The Silence Of The Llamas*

Have arrived early at the beauty salon for my Minx toes. Treatment is at 5.30pm and I’ve chosen Gold Lightning Cheetah. Heart radio is playing.

So tired. So:

Achievements Of The Day

  1. Go to cancer hospital for blood tests and show them my blistered feet. Oxygen saturation is now 98, which is better.
  2. Walk Circe:
  3. Have enjoyed seeing Circe every day. Hopefully will be allowed to walk her more often.
  4. Find the fluffy monster sleeping on my bed when arrive home so put him outside.
  5. Sleep.
  6. See cancer therapist. Am acclimatising to her.
  7. It helps that remember my knitting and so can knit whilst talking to her. Show you knitting:
  8. It is more than halfway there.
  9. Right: need to return to it.

Happy Friday everyone!

*2013. By Anne Canadeo. A Black Sheep Knitting Mystery, Book 5.

Killing Eve*

It’s a Hill Climb class at Spin today and deliberately keep my resistance a bit lower than usual so as not to tire self out too much: at level 6 rather than level 8. Still work hard but am able to bring speed up a bit. Show you graph:

There. It is a graph of Hard Work: look at all the yellow for over eighty percent effort.

Then do an annoying but worthwhile job with Mum. We tidy up my shoes and boots cupboard; clean dusty shoes which have been living under bed and put them in cloth bags; put some shoes in black bag to go to charity shop. The fluffy monster climbs into the bag but drag him out – don’t want to send him to the charity shop.

Have freed up a whole drawer under bed, which is good. All smart shoes are now in boxes or fabric bags so they won’t become dusty. It’s a sad task, looking through all my sparkly heels and platform wedges from a glamorous life of parties that seems a world away now. Wonder if will ever wear any of these shoes again, I think as I gaze at them in their boxes.

Last night start watching Killing Eve. It is excellent. Heartily recommend it. Good acting; great script and good soundtrack.

Have a dog-free day which is a shame. Will see Circe tomorrow.

It’s 5.47pm and the fluffy monster ought to be coming in for his supper soon.

Am going to help Mum make supper.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*2018. Written by Luke Jennings and Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Stars Sandra Oh, Jodie Comer, Fiona Shaw and Kim Bodnia.

The Sound And The Furry*

It’s The Duchess’s class at Spin today and, don’t tell anyone, but I don’t work that hard. My monitor isn’t working so whilst The Master charges it, I concentrate on keeping my resistance down and trying to work my leg speed up a bit. Whilst I’m wearing my monitor I always crank the resistance up so high, so it’s good to have a break from that.

I seem to have feline company in my bedroom:

He is just kneading the sheets and blankets and making himself comfortable.

Have a pleasant walk with Circe. She doesn’t bark or growl at anyone. Here we are:

Have achieved a bath. Take the plasters off feet. Blisters are bad.

Last night’s book launch is a success and then we go to an old haunt for dinner – Mumtaz – which is lovely. Here is outfit – Frank Lyman dress:

And Garconne coat – both from Myla Clare –

Buy the new Pat Barker and William Boyd books at the launch.

Tomorrow don’t have Gandalf or Circe so just have Spin and then Mum wants me to tidy up my shoes, boots and bags “and maybe throw some stuff out,” she says.

Must be quiet as now that fluffy monster is sleeping.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*2013. By Spencer Quinn. Book 6 in the Chet and Bernie Mystery series, set in Louisiana.

The Silence Of The Girls*

“The fluffy monster’s in: Dad wants to leave in about half an hour” Mum says. So:

Achievements Of The Day:

  1. Walk Dolly:
  2. See and hear the parakeets: here’s one:
  3. Rush back and walk Circe:
  4. Sit in her house with her.
  5. Send Mum, my assistant, to Kurt Geiger in Watford to purchase new rainbow bag and shoes from Kurt Geiger.
  6. Sleep.
  7. Wake up.
  8. Eat pineapple.
  9. Drink iced coffee.
  10. Sit in garden.
  11. Clean lenses.
  12. Get dressed to go to…
  13. … Book launch.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

*2018. By Pat Barker. Book about Achilles from the P.O.V. Of his wife. Going to purchase it at book launch tonight and will report back.

The Aspern Papers*

It’s 4.59pm. It’s turned very cold: apparently it’s fourteen degrees but it feels colder. Am wearing a furry dressing gown and huddled under my furry blanket. Have just seen the fluffy monster outside on the wall but he must’ve made it down because he’s not there anymore. When he was ill with gastroenteritis, had to carry him down from the wall, so he must be feeling better now as he’s made his own way down.

Here I am with The Master at Spin:

Here is graph:

It’s The Master’s class. Work pretty hard. Then walk this girl:

We have a nice walk but she gets a bit growly and barky at other dogs, particularly small dogs. Then we have cuddles at her house for an hour.

Make it home. Have lunch and a sleep. Now am under blanket sleeping. Dad is snoozing in his chair. He has been reading The Aspern Papers for months, although it is a novella. Mum is at bridge.

Mum has just arrived home so had better go and talk to her.

Happy Monday everyone!

*1888. By Henry James. Novella.

The Death Of Downton Tabby*

It’s The Boss’s class today – you can see us in the above photos – and it’s Fartlek which, as you ought to remember, means speed play in Swedish. Find self working Very Hard as you can see in graph:

Look at all that yellow for over eighty percent effort.

Come home from Spin and have lunch and a sleep. The fluffy monster spends a lot of time sleeping inside today as it’s raining. Here is a soggy monster:

Some people think that he’s not clever but they’re wrong: he’s quite brilliant at cleaning himself. Notice that wonderful Tail.

The parentals go out for lunch in the rain. I do sleeping and the fluffy monster exercises outside when the rain stops.

Now we’re all watching Gardeners’ World. Dad is sleeping. The fluffy monster is up in the hall, waiting for someone to give him some supper. It’s 5.53pm so not yet his suppertime. Mum stopped his steroids a week ago but he’s Still Really Hungry. We’re waiting for the Extreme Hunger to wear off. Can hear him sneezing up the other end of the house.

Need an Early Night as am Working Every Day next week: new Bearded Collie Client Every Day; Dolly on Tuesday; Gandalf on Thursday. Also Spin most days so hope can manage all this. Tired.

Bodyguard finale tonight! Can’t wait!

Happy Sunday everyone!

*2016. By Mandy Morton. Stars Hettie and Tilly Of The Number 2 Feline Detective Agency. Cat cozy Murder Mystery novel.

Probable Claws*

The Master starts off the class and says that The Boss is joining him later. You can see us in the above photo. The Boss joins him for the second half of the class. Work Really Hard – show you:

Ooohhhh Average Effort 81% – well done me. Look at all that yellow.

Then go with Mum to John Lewis in Watford. Want a leopard-print dress but can’t find one. Try on a few things but nothing is right. Also try some leopard print ankle boots but they’re furry and so can’t wear them if it rains, which it always does.

My chum has just had a baby girl so buy some little dresses but not going to post them here as she reads the blog and want the dresses to be a surprise. Can recommend John Lewis baby clothes – they’re gorgeous.

It’s 5.52pm and it’s raining so this person is inside sleeping:

Mum is hanging up the washing. It is raining inside the house where the windows leak and my socks are wet.

Make a plan to see a friend who haven’t seen for ages in ten days time. Will be good to see her. Hopefully it won’t be raining and can wear leopard coat.

The fluffy monster has woken up and probably thinks it’s a mealtime:

Would like to be an Instagram influencer like Kat Farmer with a hundred thousand followers but she always looks flawless in a long dress and am usually wearing gym clothes accessorised with a dog, so that’s not going to happen.

Happy Saturday everyone!

*2009. By Clea Simon. Theda Krakow Book 4. Cat Murder Mystery novel.

A Museum At War*

Work extremely hard at Spin – it’s The Princess’s class which is often the one where I really push self. Show you:

There is a lot of yellow for the hill climbs and not much green for the flat roads. You can see me with The Boss in the above photo.

Come home for lunch where this person is lying on the table cleaning himself:

He is in for the evening now. Love him.

Have just prepared a quick What-To-Wear-Now list for you:

  1. Leopard print is back in for Autumn. Have just purchased a furry leopard coat. It’s Garconne from Myla Clare in Radlett:
  2. A little black dress is always good for Autumn – this one is Frank Lyman, also from Myla Clare. It’s more exciting than it looks – there are mesh panels down the arms:
  3. Have just ordered 4 pairs of these Gipsy heart back seam tights as CBA to go through tights drawer, seeing which ones do or don’t have holes and ladders in. Will do that when return to flat:Mine are coming from Amazon but lots of places stock them.
  4. Am still wearing my Fox trousers in black and navy, just with trainers rather than fit flops.
  5. Haven’t yet checked which boots need new soles or heels. Not moving on to boots just yet. Will wear dress with shoes to Tuesday’s launch of this book:
  6. Am excited about the book launch.

Happy Friday everyone!

*2018. By Karolyn Shindler. Snapshots of life at the Natural History Museum during World War I.