Writing Down The Bones*

Achievements Of The Day:

1. Sleep from nine oโ€™clock last night until five oโ€™clock this morning.

2. Do two Tarot Readings for a customer.

3. See oncologist who says we are starting on a lower dose of chemotherapy on Tuesday.

4. He arranges for me to stay at my hospital on Tuesday after chemo until Friday. Am relieved to be avoiding A & E.

5. Go to the farm with Mum to purchase provisions for my weekend at the flat.

6. Meditate ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ and sleep.

7. Draw a flow diagram for the Memoir of the fallout from the end of my relationship with Seb.

8. Have a Marks & Spencer Cheese and Celery sandwich ๐Ÿฅช for supper. My darling Auntie procured it yesterday.

9. Cuddle Fluffball.

10. Receive money for another Tarot Reading which I will do tomorrow.

11. Feel happy and relaxed about new chemo plan.

12. Love my parents So Much.

*1986. By Natalie Goldberg. How to write book. A classic.

Tarot: No Questions Asked*

Wake up after a good nightโ€™s sleep and reread a hundred pages of โ€œThe Best Awfulโ€. Itโ€™s brilliant and hilarious. Fluffball sits on the windowsill, desperate to go out.

My amazing quartz point, yellow quartz and hematite arrives all the way from Florida. Thank you so much Snakes in the Grass and Gorgeous.

After Pilates, go for a drive with Mum to the Farm. We see the peacock ๐Ÿฆš. Then I pop into the Destiny Rising shop to let them know that Iโ€™m still alive.

Have aubergine ๐Ÿ† and goat ๐Ÿ cheese bake with baked potato ๐Ÿฅ”, broccoli ๐Ÿฅฆ and cauliflower.

Meditate ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ and sleep. Wake up and have coffee โ˜•๏ธ and then my supper at quarter to five.

When I wake up I do a paid Tarot Reading for a new client:

Mum helps me with my bath ๐Ÿ› and puts some Aloe Vera gel on my back for the third time this day. Back is So Sore: prickling under my skin.

Now Iโ€™m watching Rumpole with the parentals and Fluffball.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

*2020. By Theresa Reed. Mastering the art of Intuitive Reading.

Drinking: A Love Story*

Here is my precious angel Fluffball before he is allowed out this morning:

Have a good nightโ€™s sleep from half past to half past five.

We visit Burstonโ€™s Garden ๐ŸชดCentre for the first time since Lockdown. Is great to be back there.

My friend @snakesinthegrass sends me an amazing present from America which I will show you tomorrow.

Have breakfast and do my Tarot Card of the Day from my new deck which is a gift from a kind friend in California.

Work hard at Barre and chat to my teachers and friends afterwards.

Meditate. Have a long sleep after lunch.

Wake up and have coffee and then supper at quarter to five this afternoon.โ€™

Radiologist calls and says that if Iโ€™m having difficulty swallowing itโ€™s from the radiotherapy and that that and the burning feeling on my back will get better within ten days so thatโ€™s something.

Have to go to bed now: itโ€™s nine oโ€™clock.

Happy Monday everyone!

*1996. By Caroline Knapp. Memoir of the authorโ€™s twenty years as an alcoholism.

The Best Awful*

This time four years ago I was with Dolly at the top of Primrose Hill in the hot sunshine ๐ŸŒž.

Today I wake up at 5.30am and have a very functional morning:

  1. Do my Tarot Card of the Day with my rarest deck, the Minchiate Etruria from Florence.
  2. Have bath ๐Ÿ›€ where I…
  3. …Wash hair.
  4. Put E45 cream on my burning ๐Ÿ”ฅ back.
  5. Put a wash on.
  6. Do my nails ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป.
  7. Talk to my darling cousin and have a proper catch-up.
  8. Clean my bathroom sink ๐Ÿงผ.
  9. Wipe the kitchen surfaces ๐Ÿงฝ.
  10. Talk to Suzy.
  11. Watch a bit of an episode of Hemlock Grove.
  12. Attend Live Crystal sale.
  13. Tidy bedroom and put away clothes.
  14. Get dressed.

I’m So Proud of myself for coping So Well at flat. Dad is coming to pick me up at six o’clock but I really hope to be back here soon now that I’m feeling a bit better. Love being in the calm and quiet of my own space. Even manage to write a bit of Memoir yesterday.

Looking forward to returning to my Fluffball though. Find Carrie Fisher’s The Best Awful. Going to reread it to help with writing โœ๏ธ Memoir as it’s a semi-autobiographical novel in which the heroine has a manic episode and it’s really funny. Love Carrie Fisher’s writing So Much.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*2004. By Carrie Fisher. Novel starring a manic-depressive heroine.

The Crime Of Vaccination*

Am not sick again last night. Sleep from nine thirty to five thirty this morning. Do a Tarot Reading for a dear friend:

Work hard at Pilates and then chat with my teacher and chums. See Fluffball strolling around the garden. He is happy now that he’s allowed out. Give him his lunch and can hear him crunching it and gobbling it down.

Have lunch, read The Sober Diaries and then have to go to the cancer hospital ๐Ÿฅ for my blood tests and radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy is quick: they spend about ten minutes setting the machine up and then five minutes zapping me โšก๏ธ.

As soon as we leave the hospital, back feels sunburnt. The radiologist recommends E45 cream so we pick some up from the chemist ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ at the farm.

Mum drives me back to the flat and applies the cream to my back, which is soothing. The itchiness has faded now.

I miss my sleep this afternoon as blood tests are at two thirty and arrive at the flat just in time for supper at four thirty.

After supper I read some more of The Sober Diaries: I’m really enjoying it and am about three quarters of the way through it now.

It’s 8.33pm. I will just post this, clean my teeth ๐Ÿฆท ๐Ÿชฅ, wash my face and then read till nine o’clock.

Tomorrow is Pilates at nine fifteen. After I finish The Sober Diaries, will read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.

Don’t seem to have any bad side effects from my second vaccine dose ๐Ÿ’‰. A weird thing: had jab in right leg – due to no nodes left so can’t have cuts or scratches on arms – but when I wake up this morning my right arm hurts. Wonder why.

It is so lovely and warm in flat. Am going to take my nighttime meds ๐Ÿ’Š now.

Happy Friday everyone!

*1913. By Tenison Deane. Medical book.

The Lionโ€™s Mouth*

Photograph of brother and me in our matching burgundy tracksuits. Aren’t we adorable ๐Ÿฅฐ.

Achievements Of The Day

  1. Am not sick again last night.
  2. Sleep from half past nine last night till half past five this morning.
  3. Wake up feeling refreshed.
  4. Fluffball is allowed out and has a great day in the sunshine ๐ŸŒž.
  5. Finish going through Memoir so now Mum can type up the changes.
  6. Have CT scan for radiotherapy.
  7. Which will take place tomorrow!
  8. Start reading The Sober Diaries and am enjoying it.
  9. Pleased with the Progress of Memoir now.
  10. Personal Training at one o’clock. Work hard and teacher is pleased with me. Feel so much better after my exercise as usual.
  11. Have lunch.
  12. Go for walk with Mum around the garden.
  13. Meditate and sleep.
  14. Wake up and have my pineapple ๐Ÿ.
  15. And then my supper at four thirty.
  16. Dad takes me to St Albans for my second vaccination ๐Ÿ’‰: I’m now fully vaccinated which is a relief.
  17. Cuddle Fluffball. His eyes ๐Ÿ‘€ are running a bit, but he’s much better and more cheerful now that he’s been out.
  18. Clean my lenses.
  19. Wear my new lion ๐Ÿฆ socks ๐Ÿงฆ from Whipsnade.
  20. Talk to parentals whilst they have dinner.
  21. Now I’m listening to Claude Challe in my bedroom.

Happy Thursday everyone!

*1999. By Anne Hoult. A Hannah Wilhelmsen detective novel, book 4.

Belly Up*

Am not sick last night and sleep well so that’s a relief.

Have an excellent morning with Mum at Whipsnade. It’s freezing ๐Ÿฅถ: eight degrees and cloudy. We arrive at ten o’clock and the park is empty. Take my proper camera ๐Ÿ“ธ out for the first time since our last trip to Whipsnade in the summer when Lockdown was paused – so most of my photos are on there.

We have brilliant views of the lions ๐Ÿฆ, rhinos ๐Ÿฆ, hippos ๐Ÿฆ› and elephants ๐Ÿ˜. The camels ๐Ÿซ, yak, alpacas ๐Ÿฆ™, marabou storks, cheetahs, white rhinos ๐Ÿฆ, zebras ๐Ÿฆ“ and tigers ๐Ÿ… are on my camera.

We sit outside at a picnic ๐Ÿงบ table to eat our packed lunch: egg ๐Ÿฅš sandwiches ๐Ÿฅช and cut up carrots ๐Ÿฅ• and cucumber ๐Ÿฅ’.

Mum buys me some tiger ๐Ÿฏ, lion ๐Ÿฆ and zebra ๐Ÿฆ“ socks ๐Ÿงฆ in the shop and two Zoo pencils โœ๏ธ.

I’m Really Proud of myself for managing So Much walking. Feel so happy at Whipsnade with all my animals.

The vet phones when we get home. Fluffball is allowed out tomorrow so that’s good: he’s been moping around the house all week.

Tomorrow I have a pre-radiotherapy scan at the hospital ๐Ÿฅ and Personal Training at one o’clock.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*2010. By Stuart Gibbs. Children’s mystery novel in which Teddy Fitzroy and his friends investigate the suspicious death of a hippo.

From The Moment We Met*

Victory โœŒ๏ธ! Am not sick last night! So from now on I will have supper at 4.45pm. Don’t even feel nauseous yesterday evening – the new anti-sickness drugs are working.

Wake up a few times in the night which is unusual. Am finally awake at half past five and just sit quietly in my room until am allowed to wake Mum up at half past six.

Complete a Tarot Reading for a new client – it’s a Career Reading which I enjoy doing. She is really happy with it and sends me a message saying she is “blown away” by it and “everything makes so much sense”. So I’m pleased. I’m So Glad that I’ve found something that I can earn money for that I’m good at and love.

Feel quite drained afterwards as tends to happen.

Work hard at Barre and chat to my teacher and chums afterwards.

Mum makes fajitas for lunch ๐Ÿฅ™ and enjoy mine a lot. Love Mexican food and haven’t eaten it all year.

Fluffball mopes around the house in the morning and keeps sitting by the front and back doors. He’s desperate to go out. On the plus side, his eyes ๐Ÿ‘€ aren’t streaming and the allergy patch on his face is healing: keeping him in, away from the tree pollen, is working.

Sit in the sunshine ๐ŸŒž in the garden with Mum after lunch. Feel sad that Fluffball isn’t with us.

Meditate and sleep. Wake up feeling anxious about the Memoir. Have about five weeks left to work on it and need to write some new material. Will return to it tomorrow. Today it seems an impossible task but that’s probably because I haven’t had enough sleep last night and this afternoon.

Seeing the radiologist at five thirty about my session of spine radiotherapy: will be glad to have that and maybe experience a reduction in my back pain.

Happy Monday everyone!

*2018. By Brian Clark. Book about the astrology of adult relationships.

The Family Legacy*

Have a terrible evening last night. Am sick a lot after supper. Then I’m sick again in bed ๐Ÿ›Œ at ten thirty into a plastic Tupperware box. It’s So Horrible.

Meditate and drop off to sleep at about half past eleven. Have a good sleep: don’t wake up until six thirty this morning.

We are keeping Fluffball in as his allergy is so bad. We have cuddles this morning. Let’s just go and see him now. Here are the photos that they took of him at the cattery two years ago, when we were in Abroad.

Astrology Conference today is brilliant again. Watch five talks and learn a lot. I’m So Proud of myself for:

  1. Being able to focus and concentrate and make notes and get into a flow state whilst I’m studying.
  2. Pushing myself to work So Hard when I feel So Ill.
  3. How much progress I’ve already made since October: I can read charts with confidence now which is Amazing.

After lunch have a drive with Mum through Shenley and up to Sopwell and back. We toy with the idea of walking at Shenley but the car park is full.

Make it home at two forty and decide to attend one of the three o’clock lectures. Mum brings me a Kiwi ๐Ÿฅ.

This morning I start my new anti-sickness pills ๐Ÿ’Š. Let’s hope that they work. They have terrible side effects but nothing has happened yet.

Have a new Tarot client who has just paid me so I’ll do her Reading tomorrow. She’s one of my Barre friends and wants to know about her career which is good: I really enjoy Career Readings.

Astrology Conference is now over which is so sad. I love Astrology: it takes my mind off my aches and pains and reminds me that everything is connected and this too shall pass. As above, so below as we say in the esoteric community. The planets ๐Ÿช speak to us and we can understand the music of the spheres.

I’m tired but it’s a good sort of tired from using my brain ๐Ÿง .

Sixteen year old brother and sister cats ๐Ÿˆ ๐Ÿˆโ€โฌ› have gone missing in my road. I’ve befriended their owner on Facebook. Please let them be found and returned home unharmed.

I must not let this vomiting ๐Ÿคฎ business control my life and my thoughts. Now I’m going to do my Tarot Card for the Day. Please ask the Universe to not make me throw up again tonight.

We’re watching the Men’s Doubles Final from Monte Carlo earlier today. Sadly, we already know that Dan and Neal lost to Pavic and Mektic.

Happy Sunday everyone!

*2016. By Brian Clark. Astrology book.

Astrology, History And Apocalypse*

Horribly and violently sick last night but early: about half past seven – so by bedtime ๐Ÿฅฑ am feeling fine. Sleep well.

Astrology Conference allllllll day today starting at nine o’clock so attend six lectures. Can’t sleep between two and four o’clock this afternoon so am not feeling well now: back hurts, headache ๐Ÿค•, exhaustion ๐Ÿ˜“. Proud of self for focusing so well and studying so hard.

Supper at six o’clock and now we’re watching Dan Evans and Neil Skupski vs Cabal and Farah from earlier today. Am sad to miss Prince Philip’s funeral today. How was it?

Walk around the garden with Mum after lunch. As you can see: Hot Lips ๐Ÿ‘„ isn’t dead โ˜ ๏ธ – she has some new shoots. So that’s good.

Fluffball is miserable as he has to stay in all day. He mopes around the house ๐Ÿก and sleeps a lot: the Piriton is making him even more tired than usual. He hasn’t done a poo ๐Ÿ’ฉ yet so hopefully he’ll do one when he has some privacy tonight.

Have an individual lemon ๐Ÿ‹ cheesecake ๐Ÿฐ and a mango ๐Ÿฅญ for tea ๐Ÿซ– which is lovely. The personal one is the perfect ๐Ÿ‘Œ size and round. Much prefer the lemon one to yesterday’s mango ๐Ÿฅญ and passion fruit one. We will purchase these again.

Make copious notes ๐Ÿ“ today which is good as right now brain ๐Ÿง  is dead โ˜ ๏ธ and can’t remember Anything.

Tomorrow I’m going to do the video of today’s Pilates class that I missed and not start Astrology until eleven o’clock. Must not push self too hard again: it’s Not Good for me.

Fluffball is sleeping on the spotty sofa ๐Ÿ›‹; Mum can’t stop sneezing; Dad is dozing whilst holding the Financial Times. We’re all wearing lots of layers and I’m huddled under my blanket.

I still have to do my Tarot card for the day and have my bath ๐Ÿ›. Will drag a Tarot Deck in front of the television ๐Ÿ“บ – must not lie down but am desperate to return to bed. Obviously do Astrology Conference in bed ๐Ÿ›Œ so my back doesn’t hurt All Day but now I’ve been sitting up for ninety minutes the back pain has returned with a vengeance and I need more morphine.

Have a new Tarot Client which is exciting: she wants a one hour Career Reading and is one of my Barre chums. Should be able to fit her in on Monday.

Order two cat ๐Ÿฑ pill ๐Ÿ’Š dispensers from Amazon: they will arrive tomorrow. They fire the pill to the back of the Fluffball’s throat and are a much better way to give him meds than putting a hand in his mouth and encountering many needle-sharp teeth ๐Ÿฆท.

Mum is miserable about Fluffy being so unhappy ๐Ÿ˜ญ: she has to look after both of us whilst we’re ill now and it’s tough for her. On the plus side: Fluffball’s eyes ๐Ÿ‘€ have stopped streaming so let’s hope he will recover enough to avoid the dreaded cone.

Right: I have to concentrate on the tennis ๐ŸŽพ and have some morphine and a Nurofen; kiss my precious angel; drink my Diet Coke and try to relax.

Happy Saturday everyone!

*2000. By Nicholas Campion who I heard today. Astrology book. Astrology’s use as a tool of prediction over the centuries, especially as part of a religious vision of the “end of days”.